DIY Chicken Killin' with Bare Hands

   Submitted by greenjon on Tue, 04/29/2008 - 3:58pm.    
greenjon
Posts: 39

I can remember my Grandmother "wringing" their necks. She would grab the head with one hand, chicken being held in other hand/arm, then in one motion drop the body while spinning the hand holding the head in a small circle.

On the other hand, my Uncle would hold the head under his foot with the left hand and the legs with the right. Again, in one motion he would step down on the head and jerk the legs/body which was released as his arm reach out straight throwing the body out in the yard to flop around and bleed. Then Grandmother would pour scalding water over the chicken so she could pluck the feathers. When the feathers were off she would singe off the hairs on the body over the coal-oil stove.


   Mon, 05/05/2008 - 11:31am    
GRON (not verified)
GRON's picture
Posts: 311
 Subject: DIY Chicken Killin' With a Stump

You need a *really* sharp knife to decapitate a chicken. I used a machete once and it was like "Geneva Conventions!!!"

The best way I've found is to hold her by the legs and swing her "Around the World" and brain her on a stump or rock. She died instantly, you could tell because she did that rigor-mortis flutter-flutter-flutter thing as her soul split for the far side of the mirror. This fluttering I'm referring to is not the horrible mangled death throes of a dying chicken you see if you kill them improperly. You can tell the difference.

If you brain her on a stump first and her spirit's gone, then you can hack away at her neck without feeling like a war criminal.

Thank you for choosing GRON.


   Mon, 05/12/2008 - 4:30pm    
someone else (not verified)
someone else's picture
Posts: 311
 Subject: then start a chicken blood

then start a chicken blood bank


   Sat, 06/28/2008 - 10:26pm    
OB1 (not verified)
OB1's picture
Posts: 311
 Subject: chizzicken kizzilin'

Here in the Humboldt stix, the preferred method with friendly organic chicken killurrzn is to place them through an orange traffic cone hung from a tree so their head extends through the hole and the body is contained by the cone. You then either slice throat to bleed them or lop off their head with branch cutters. The cone keeps them from becoming mobile blood fountains and also keeps them more calm which results in more tender meat. Their instinct is to basically freeze when held in this manner. It might be even more humane, as killing goes.
B1


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