You need a *really* sharp knife to decapitate a chicken. I used a machete once and it was like "Geneva Conventions!!!"

The best way I've found is to hold her by the legs and swing her "Around the World" and brain her on a stump or rock. She died instantly, you could tell because she did that rigor-mortis flutter-flutter-flutter thing as her soul split for the far side of the mirror. This fluttering I'm referring to is not the horrible mangled death throes of a dying chicken you see if you kill them improperly. You can tell the difference.

If you brain her on a stump first and her spirit's gone, then you can hack away at her neck without feeling like a war criminal.

Thank you for choosing GRON.

Here in the Humboldt stix, the preferred method with friendly organic chicken killurrzn is to place them through an orange traffic cone hung from a tree so their head extends through the hole and the body is contained by the cone. You then either slice throat to bleed them or lop off their head with branch cutters. The cone keeps them from becoming mobile blood fountains and also keeps them more calm which results in more tender meat. Their instinct is to basically freeze when held in this manner. It might be even more humane, as killing goes.
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