I found myself feeling zestful and good when framing T-’s house with Az-. We moved together quickly. It was very invigorating- like play, only we were building something- even better. That’s one thing I love about Az-, having shared these moments with him.

I feel good when a dance turns out well and we just move, especially when there is rapport with the other dancers.

Writing in the mornings, ahh, the most likely time for it to work. That is when my energy is highest. Get to the jobsite early and write. Try it.

"Authentic Presence"

What? Sounds like baloney to me. Such terms negate their own meaning by their weight and sound.

Be here now. If not now, when? If not here, where? If not you, then who?

It is indeed immediate. We are here all the time, we just get distracted.

I love parallel play, like small kids do. Surrounded by other people writing, ahh, I can write. As if I had a frozen need for play companions, friends to work alongside. Even with the carpentry now, I have inactivated my contractor’s licence. No longer the boss, I work beside others. What joy.

The kitchen floor is the scene of the original creative process. You pull the pans off the shelf. Then put them back. Or stack them, or put them one inside the other. How do they fit? Hmmm, let’s find out. This is so interesting, for a while. Now let’s relate. Let’s talk. Hear the tall people talk. Make sounds too. Join in. Enjoy how they look at you, laugh, smile, talk to you.

Demand some juice. Demand a lap. Pull off their glasses and smush them good. You can tell when they are upset. They no longer look you in the eye with the same presence. They don’t understand. They are not even interested. Howl and yell. Demand some attention. You deserve it, and more.

While A- was reading to him on the bed, S- fell onto his little back. So A- fell backward too and laughed. They did it over and over, laughing, getting all wound up. Then they came to the kitchen. S- ran around screaming, over and over, jumping up and down. Run and scream. At the top of his lungs. The adults around him did not ignore him or tell him to pipe down. They laughed along. So he got some attention while he let it all out. Then he was done, steam blown, and he went on to other things. What he had accomplished there was as important to his learning the world as moving pot lids!

We are all attention sinks. We all crave love and attention. Hellooo! This idea needs work, it needs attention, yours. I write so as to get you to read this, right? This is not just to get your attention, but because I believe this can be of use to you. Why should I want to help? Because if I don’t I will be just too depressed. I want to be present for people. It pulls me out of my stuff, and that is so good for me.

A- is so anxious, almost all the time- about the drive, about her to do list, about so and so and about such and such. It is so refreshing to see that smile, where she is so relaxed and free from that rushing internal train. The freedom comes with feeling love inside and love all around. It is knowing the world is as it should be: beloved and loving. "Ishq Allah Maboud l’illah." God is love, lover and beloved.

Be it building a house, writing or tossing pots, the creative moment is what we live for, the "Don’t stop me now I’m on a roll!" moment. Then the pen stops. So put it back to paper and let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. This little light of mine.