This is a wonderful point, and I totally agree with you... ironically enough, this is the point I was arguing with my lover...he needs to be needed, and sometimes won't let others do the things that they need to.... it is a two way street..... and in the end I had to leave him as well in order to do it for myself.  I'm going to post this as a response to my own post, as that is a key point that I was missing.... thank you.

 
Will wrote:
> I think that to achieve true autonomy, not only
> do you have to rely on no one, but you can't
> allow anyone to rely on you. I'm sure you know
> this well already, but people with dependencies
> rarely get over them until their enablers put
> their collective feet down.
>
> You seem to have escaped your situation, but I'd
> advise anyone going through that to set
> boundaries early on in their relationships with
> others. Telling people "Go ahead, you don't
> need me to do that." empowers them. Even
> when you are needed, you have sovereignity over
> whose agendas you pursue, when you pursue them,
> and how much you want to help. Anyone who
> doesn't respect that isn't someone you need to
> be helping. Let them know this, politely of
> course, and I'm sure they'll change their tone
> in a hurry.
>
> I hope you have good luck with whatever you
> choose to do next. I'm not a mutant, whatever
> that is - I found your post from the front page
> - just an autonomous person who wanted to share.
 

autonomy also means that you can't put the blame for your problems on the choices of others... in effect, all must take responsability for their own.

Yeah, I agree with poster #1.
For the greater good of all beings, it is essential that we each take personal responsibility for our actions or inactions. I have seen two areas where this responisibility is notably lacking in my relatrions with both autonomous, semi, and hardly autonomous people:

1 - There are quite a few deadbeat dads, aka sperm donors. The culture of autonomy will best be spread, I feel, by producing individuals who are raised free, and who do not have to be deprogrammed, who take their autonomous freedom for granted. And what better way to put your "autonomous ethic" to the test of time than to stress it with the rigors of parenthood?

2 - Being accountable for the technology we utilize. I.e., knowing how to sew, to make beer, to run your vehicle on veggie oil, and very importantly, gardening!

3 - Dealing with the legacy of pollution. Lets face it folks, there are horribly terribly evil substances never found in nature that are only human made. They are kept in high security (and surpsiingly low security) labs throughout the world. These substances are found both living and non-lving, and they are going to have to be dealt with eventually.

4 - The world will never end. Ever since the first A bomb dropped, the resurgence in Apocalyptic culture has been massive. Now a lot of folks are on about the 2012 thing, the end of the "last" Mayan Baktun, the last sun. Life on this planet has always had a more cyclic feel, to me. While cataclysms are inevitable, and life rough and saddening it their aftermath, there has always been an aftermath, a rebuilding, and a new growth. And even if I'm wrong, and the world does end December 21st 2012, or therabouts, I think that MY world and all the worlds of those I interact with will be quite happier with the thought that the world will never end. Therefore, I choose to

6- Raise healthy children. If you are really dedicated to making a free, autonomous world, you will need to have someone to carry on the work after you are gone. The trials and tribulations of parenthood will test your resolve. You may make some ethical concessions. Perhaps these will strengthen your worldview by making it more adaptive.

5 - Promote healing. To do so requires community support. This relates directly to the poster. Although I do not know your situation, I have had a dear friend with the same condition. Let us all remember to use every tool in the tool box. Some conditions are better treated holistically, but for a broken arm, you really should get a cast. I know your situation is more complicated....

My thoughts,
Dylan M. Blackthorne

a community is only as strong as it's weakest member.